It’s the year 2019 and you feel like this may be the year for you? You’re determined to find love. You’re ready to put yourself out there and meet the love of your life. You desperately want to fall in love and find that special person to spend your life with.
My question to you is are you ready? Are you really ready to open up your heart and let someone in?
A lot of us want love but the question is are we ready for it?
They say love happens when you least expect it and I believe that’s very true.
That’s how it happened for me anyhow. I was finally at place of peace and contentment in my life. I was happy on my own and I didn’t need to be with someone, but I was open to the possibility. I was no longer going to try and force it, but if someone came along and added to my already pretty great life, then I would welcome it gladly!
How do you know if you’re ready? How do you know if you’re at a place in your life that you’re truly ready to accept love into your heart?
The thing is, it doesn’t matter how much you want it, if you’re not truly ready for it.
I believe that it takes a certain mindset before you can find true love. Love that will last. Love that is wildly exciting but practical at the same time. The kind of love that you thought wasn’t even possible.
What kind of mind set is required to really be ready for love?
I’ve got three mind-sets that I truly believe are a MUST if you’re really ready to find your one and only.
You Must Be Openminded
This is the #1 most important mind-set that you MUST have if you’re really serious about finding love. Love is a mysterious thing and there’s no way you can possibly predict the type of person you will end up with. If you aren’t open to different types of people and experiences, then finding love will be more difficult for you. It will take longer.
You cannot be narrow in your thinking. You cannot have the immediate “no” mentality. What’s the “no” mentality? I have to watch this sometimes. I’m by nature very regimented so I can get stuck in this myself. Whenever you’re presented with the possibility of something new, is your immediate response typically “no?” If it doesn’t feel familiar to you, do you shy away from it?
If you’re looking for love, you need to have a “yes” mentality. You have to live openly and ready for anything new to come your way. You have to go out with people that you may initially think aren’t romantic potentials. You have to say “Yes” to any all dates no matter your first impression of a person.
You must be open to the possibility that the love of your life may not show up in the package that you envision. What’s great about this? When you do this you’re opening yourself up to a potentially even BETTER package than you ever imagined possible.
You must be open.
Do you know why love happens when you least expect it? I believe it happens when you least expect it because everything else that you’ve done to find love so far hasn’t worked. I think you get to the point where you “throw up your hands” so to speak and you give in. You give in because everything you’ve done up to that point hasn’t worked. You give in to old habits and you open yourself up to new things. Then all of a sudden this person shows up when you least expect it, and why? You’ve removed all of your preconceived notions of what love with you is supposed to look like. You’re open to whatever form love shows up in.
Love shows up in the rarest of forms. Your person shows up when you’re open to new possibilities and new adventures. You’re open and no longer closed off.
If you’re closed off, you will NOT meet the love of your life. If you’re not open to new experiences then your heart isn’t open. You have to open your heart. You have to be open to what you don’t know. You have to be open to experiences that aren’t familiar to you.
Which leads me to my next mind-set.
You Must Be Non-Judgmental
You can’t be open if you’re constantly judging people, right? Whether it’s their looks, their car, their job, whatever it is.
If you tend to judge, then you’re not open. To judge means that you’ve already decided based on some criteria in your mind. You’ve already decided to either like or not like someone before you truly even know that person.
You have to be open to views that are different from yours. You must be open to life styles that are different from yours. You don’t have to accept people into your life when there is clear conflict, but if you’re judging then you’re not open.
If you’re judging a guy who reaches out to you online based on his profile, then you’re not open. If you’re scrutinizing every little detail on his profile, then you’re judging.
Again, if you’re judging then you’re not open.
If a man asks you out, then you should go out with him at least once, and maybe even two or three times. You should respond to someone online who reached out to you even if all the little details of his profile don’t exactly align with what you’re looking for. Think about it. We meet someone organically and we don’t all of a sudden have all of this information at our disposal. We don’t know exactly how tall that person is. We don’t know what their hobbies are until we talk to that person. We don’t really know anything about a person until we spend time getting to know that person.
Why don’t we get to know someone online if their profile doesn’t match up perfectly with how we THINK it should? We’re judging them.
We’re judging this person based on our own perceptions and self-inflicted beliefs. We’re even jumping to conclusions about this person based on something that might not even be true! We’re assuming we have all of the “right” information that we need based on a stupid profile.
Be open and don’t judge.
If a guy asks you out and you aren’t totally repulsed, then you should say yes. Seriously! That goes for men too. Maybe that sounds crazy to you, but it’s not.
The more open you are, and the less you judge, the sooner you will meet someone special.
Be open. Don’t judge.
You Must Have Self-Love
I’ve said it a million times and I will continue to say it over and over again. If you don’t know how to love yourself, you will fail to love another person successfully. The most important relationship that you will ever have, is the relationship that you have with yourself. You learn how to have a successful relationship with yourself first, so that you know how to have a successful relationship with another human.
If you don’t fill yourself up with love, then you won’t have anything to give to another person.
To have self-love means that you’re forgiving. You know how to forgive yourself. If you don’t know how to forgive yourself, then you will be too hard on other people. If you’re too hard on other people, then they won’t stick around. I promise you that you will have to forgive even the love of your life from time to time. We’re all imperfect beings who make mistakes. Learn how to forgive yourself so that when the love of your life shows up, you show love and compassion to this person. You show love and care to this person by being able to forgive this person when he or she makes the inevitable mistake.
To have self-love means you’re confident with who you are and you set healthy boundaries. You don’t allow people to take advantage of you, but you also realize it’s not always about you. People are different and that’s okay. You set healthy boundaries for yourself. If someone can’t respect your boundaries, then you have enough self-love to move on and know that’s not what’s best for you.
To have self-love means that you take care of yourself. You take care of yourself so that you show up as the best version of YOU. You take care of yourself so that you have the strength and knowledge to take care of another person who is important to you. After all, if you don’t take care of yourself then you won’t be able to care for another person.
It all boils down to being open. Your heart must be open if you want to fall in love.
An open heart is a loving heart.
An open heart is a forgiving heart that doesn’t judge.
Don’t judge people.
Be open to the unknown because you know who you are, you have self-love, and you respect yourself enough to know when something isn’t right for you.
Be open to love or it will pass you by.
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