Love is not for the lazy! I said that in an interview a week ago so I wanted to revisit that statement is this week’s post.

We’re a society built on instant gratification. I think that’s another reason why more and more people struggle to find a lasting and deep connection with someone. It’s a lot of work!

Love is not for the lazy, but instant gratification is.

If we want to buy something, we order it on amazon prime and in two days it arrives.

If we want to know the answer to something, we google it and seconds later we have our answer.

If we don’t like who we’re dating, we sign up for bumble or some other dating site, swipe right, and shortly we have a new date lined up for the weekend.

If you’re looking for real love, then instant gratification has got to go.

Instant gratification is the #1 love killer.

It can no longer be the way you live your life.

I always say love is a marathon, and not a sprint.

Online dating has completely changed the game.

[Read more…] about The #1 Love Killer

After my husband and I did a podcast episode a couple of weeks ago, we continue to discuss relationships even more. We genuinely like to talk about what makes a  relationship work, what ruins relationships, and about the best way to find someone to spend your life with.

We both were at a difficult point in our lives. Alone after a difficult divorce, we found ourselves experiencing a lot of the same emotions and facing the same challenges. We still talk about it often and we’re so thankful to not be in that place anymore!

We both did a lot of work to get to where we are today…

We’re both so unbelievably grateful to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship with a person we adore.

We were chatting the other day about how people tend to approach dating. We discussed how quite often people approach it completely backwards!

What is this backwards approach that doesn’t work? Well, we often hear people say the same thing when they’re looking for love.

Often, people will say…

I will get myself together when I meet the right person.

Or

I will work on that about myself when I meet someone whose worth it.

This drives me nuts because it’s completely backwards.

[Read more…] about Backwards Relationship Thinking That Doesn’t Work

After working with one of my private coaching clients this week, I was reminded of something very important. He came to me after a difficult divorce and now a difficult break-up. He’s literally one of the nicest guys on the planet. It makes me sad that he continues to find himself heart broken and alone.

He just wants to meet a woman who will love him for who he is, who is kind, and who will appreciate his kindness in return.

We sat down together one evening and I asked him to make a list of at least 5 must-haves that he wants in a partner. I gave him 5-10 minutes and told him to really think about what he wants, what he needs, and what will make him happy at the very basic level.

We reviewed the list and worked together for another 25-30 minutes on refining that list. By the time we finished the list transformed into a much longer and more detailed list. I asked him questions and we discussed each trait so that it was perfectly clear to him what kind of woman he was looking for and also what kind of woman he needs. We also clarified some areas where he was confused and needed some direction.

[Read more…] about Five Red Flags To Look For When Dating

It’s the year 2019 and you feel like this may be the year for you? You’re determined to find love. You’re ready to put yourself out there and meet the love of your life. You desperately want to fall in love and find that special person to spend your life with.

My question to you is are you ready? Are you really ready to open up your heart and let someone in?

A lot of us want love but the question is are we ready for it?

They say love happens when you least expect it and I believe that’s very true.

That’s how it happened for me anyhow. I was finally at place of peace and contentment in my life. I was happy on my own and I didn’t need to be with someone, but I was open to the possibility. I was no longer going to try and force it, but if someone came along and added to my already pretty great life, then I would welcome it gladly!

How do you know if you’re ready? How do you know if you’re at a place in your life that you’re truly ready to accept love into your heart?

The thing is, it doesn’t matter how much you want it, if you’re not truly ready for it.

I believe that it takes a certain mindset before you can find true love. Love that will last. Love that is wildly exciting but practical at the same time. The kind of love that you thought wasn’t even possible.

What kind of mind set is required to really be ready for love?

I’ve got three mind-sets that I truly believe are a MUST if you’re really ready to find your one and only.

[Read more…] about Are You Ready for Love?

I was reading a book by David M. Buss called “The Evolution of Desire.” It’s all about the strategies of human mating and how that ties to evolutionary psychology.

The premise is that we behave a certain way based on the reproductive needs of our ancestors. Those of you who read my blog know that I love evolutionary psychology. I find it fascinating and often correlate my dating and relationship advice back to theories behind evolutionary psychology. I studied evolutionary psychology in college and I couldn’t get enough!

It’s pretty straightforward…

Men want sex and women want commitment. Okay, I realize it’s not that straightforward, but it’s the basic premise of our reproductive needs.

Both men and women ultimately have the same goal, however, and that is reproductive success. After that… it get’s a little tricky.

[Read more…] about Mating Strategies of Men and Women