Do You Know Who Determines Your Value?

Do people walk all over you? Do you accept less from others because you don’t think you deserve more? Do you let people take advantage of you?

Are you afraid to stick up for yourself because you don’t want to make someone mad, or worse, be alone?

There’s a difference between being kind and being a push over. One should be kind, but never to the extent it takes away from their personal value. Think of yourself like your bank account. You take money out and you replenish your account, but you never want your account balance in the negative. Otherwise, you pay overdraft fees! There’s a consequence for taking out more than you put in.

Your personal value is like that. Give a little and take a little, but don’t let yourself be depleted. Set boundaries with the people in your life.

If you constantly let others take from you, then your personal account balance will eventually be in the negative. If you give a little (are kind) but also feed your value account (take care of yourself) then you won’t go into the negative.

You can’t give to someone if you’re depleted. There’s only one person who can ensure you fill your value account.

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You must have self-love before you can give and receive love from another person.

What’s the best way to show you have self-love?

You’ve got your act together!

In order to take good care of yourself you must have self-love. You can’t fully show love to others until you learn how to love yourself first.

What does this look like?

First of all, you have to feel good so that you feel confident. When you have your act together, you feel good. When you feel good, you feel confident and happy. When you feel confident and happy, you attract others who feel the same.

As you know there are multiple ways that we as adults learn to take care of ourselves.

I split it out into four general categories.

[Read more…] about Do You Take Care of Yourself?

I remember when I was a doormat for men. I remember when I had no clue how to show up to a relationship. I didn’t feel good in my own skin. I was chasing happiness, instead of creating it for myself. I was chasing men and thought that catching one would make me happy.

I remember feeling like I had to do all the work to get a relationship to progress. I thought the more work I did to drive a relationship forward with a man, the better my odds were that he would stick around.

I remember reaching out and trying to connect with a guy. I remember waiting around for him to call and ask me out, only to have another weekend go by and nothing. I remember thinking “What am I doing wrong? What can I do to get this guy?”

I remember letting men string me along while I sat around hoping one would call. Worse, I would try and convince a guy of why we should be together! I remember spending all of my time obsessing over one guy, only to be heart broken when he didn’t call, or he disappeared.

I was putting so much work into getting a guy to like me it was pathetic.

I was pathetic.

After enough suffering I finally got my act together. I finally had men pursuing me. I finally learned how to carry myself a certain way that made men pursue me and ask me out. I finally began to demonstrate to the men in my life that I had value and I was a woman that men pursued.

I came a long way and I know you can too. What do you need to do so that you show up as a woman to be desired? How do you present yourself so that you have men pursuing you? How do you carry yourself in a way that shows men you have your act together and you know you’re worth being pursued?

[Read more…] about My Secret To Finding Love

Breakups are the worst. Another one bites the dust! Another 6-months of time wasted! Just when we think we’ve found a keeper… BAM, it’s over. Just when we’re beginning to get comfortable, reality hits. Maybe you’ve been together for years or you’re going through a divorce, so it’s not so sudden? Maybe you’ve seen it coming for a long time.

Regardless of the circumstances, it blows.

What’s the fastest way to get over a breakup?

What’s the quickest way to move on?

How do you prevent the sadness, anger, and hurt from lingering on for too long?

[Read more…] about Suffering From a Recent Breakup?

Are you struggling to attract a high value person? I’m talking about a genuine person with strong character, good values, and a strong moral compass? If you are, then it’s generally for one of two reasons. Are you unable to attract and keep a partner who is genuine, authentic, and caring? If you seem to find yourself dating jerks, or completely selfish people, then you may fit into one of two categories I describe below. Also, if you’re struggling to keep what you consider a “good catch,” it may be for these reasons as well.

We all want the kind of person who will support us, love us, and be kind to us. The kind of person that no matter what has your back and always takes your feelings into consideration. The person who treats us with gentle kindness and consideration and truly loves who we are.

Sounds pretty great, right?

It took me a long time to find this. It took me 36 years, with multiple failed relationships, and a divorce under my belt, but I finally found it. I not only found it but was finally able to attract this type of person, and more importantly, keep this kind of person in my life. There are two reasons that contribute to this. I’ve found myself in one or both scenarios at different times in my life.

[Read more…] about Are You Struggling to Attract a Keeper?