Just when everything is going great and it’s all sunshine and roses, bam, a disagreement happens with your spouse or your significant other. It sucks. It’s inevitable that you’ll have a disagreement with your spouse, but does it have to turn into a fight? Do you fight dirty?
When you have a disagreement do you immediately try and get the upper hand? Do you quickly jump into defense mode? Do you start listing off all the ways your spouse is wrong, and bring up stuff from the past? Do you resort to name calling, or worse? Do you make threats to leave? Is your goal simply to win? If you do this, then you my friend are fighting dirty.
My husband and I had a disagreement right before our anniversary. We’ve been married for almost two years and it literally happened right before our very first anniversary and our trip with our kiddos for Spring Break. Boo.
I wasn’t happy about the way he handled something. Really, my feelings were just hurt. I wasn’t torn up about it, but I thought we could have both handled the situation a lot better. It’s not really even important what we were fighting about. Honestly, we just weren’t taking the time to communicate carefully because we were both so pressed for time. We were pushing to get a ton of stuff done for work, so we could take the week off for Spring Break with the kids. You know, regular life stuff? We are generally very careful about how we talk to each other. We’ve both been in un-happy marriages, divorced and struggling on our own. We both know how hard it is to raise children on your own, so we are so unbelievably grateful to have found each other and have a second chance. We will not “F” it up!
Bottom line, you will always have something to fight about in relationships. It’s not really what you fight about, however, it’s how you fight. I actually hate using the word fight, because it shouldn’t be a fight. It really should be a healthy and respectful debate. If anything, it should be a slightly heated conversation at most.