Do nice guys really finish last? I think the saying should be “With nice guys it will actually last!” I’ve heard a lot of men complain about how women always go for the bad guys, the jerks, the players. Listen, I get it. I used to do this myself! Here’s why…
Women want the alpha male. Whether we realize it or not, we’re attracted to the alpha male. We’re attracted to alpha male qualities, characteristics and therefore the behaviors of alpha males. The problem? It takes us a while to realize the baboon alpha males from the evolved ones! Seriously, this is why most girls when they’re young date the jerks. We’re simply still learning how to decipher between the true alpha male and the guy who “acts” like an alpha male.
Ladies, you know what I mean. When we’re younger we like the bad guys. We’re intrigued by them. We like the guys who are confident and even cocky. We’re too young and inexperienced to appreciate the difference between an evolved alpha male and one that simply likes to beat his chest!
How Do You Tell the Difference?
There are certain alpha male qualities that are attractive to women. Here’s my take on what is an evolved alpha male versus the baboon who’s a legend in his own mind.
The baboon exerts his control over other people. He feels powerful when he can control others in order to get his desired outcome. He doesn’t really care who he hurts in the process and is simply looking for power. When he has control over others he feels in control.
The evolved alpha male has control, but he exerts control over himself. He doesn’t seek to control others but instead maintains healthy control over his own thoughts and actions in order to gain the desired outcome. He doesn’t have to take others down in the process and is able to act socially admirable.
We also know the jerk that lives at the gym and has the huge muscles. He’s very impressed with himself and his gym selfies. He lives and breathes for the gym and constantly looks at himself in the mirror to catch a glimpse. Really he’s super insecure and uses his physique to over compensate. By the way, I’m not saying that all guys who work out and are healthy are THIS guy. You KNOW the guy I’m talking about. If a guy had a gym selfie on his dating profile, I immediately was uninterested. Back when I was dating I was sick to DEATH of seeing this type of profile. Swipe!
The evolved alpha male demonstrates internal strength. He has the fortitude and will to see things through to the end, no matter how difficult the path. He is able to accomplish the big and important things in life, and he doesn’t need a gym selfie to prove anything. This is the man who does the tough stuff with determination and a strong will. He has a back bone, but he’s not trying to prove anything to others. He’s able to put his loved ones ahead of his own needs. He has internal strength.
We all know the guys that like to boast about the kind of fancy car they drive, their fancy clothes, their expensive watch, etc. That’s about all he has to show for his intelligence, however. He thinks that by having expensive items that it shows how smart he is. I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve gone out with this guy only to find out he still lives in an apartment and can’t seem to keep a job. Worse, he really can’t even afford his crap, but it gives the illusion of intelligence and power. If he was really smart, he would drive a not so fancy car and put money down on a home.
The evolved alpha male is emotionally intelligent. Not only does he have a high IQ and makes practical choices, but he’s emotionally mature. He’s able to nurture the people in his life that he loves. There’s nothing wrong with having a nice car and fancy clothes, but he knows that the clothes don’t make the man.
This guy is very similar to the one I mention above that drives the fancy car but lives in an apartment. Might I add that it’s okay to live in an apartment if you’re saving up for a home and drive a reasonable vehicle. Women want to see that you have your act together. They want to know that you have the financial means to care for them and for your potential family. That’s just the facts and there is NOTHING wrong with that! Disagree? Read this. This guy tends to be a bully who exerts himself over others through intimidation. He’s not really powerful, so he tries to control others to fill a void in his life. He doesn’t have any power over his own life, so he may put you down in order to feel good about himself. He’s actually very weak.
The evolved alpha male has the power to provide for his loved ones. He doesn’t have power over others, but he has his shit together. He has power because he has the ability to provide for his family. He doesn’t need to bully you in order to feel better about himself and feel powerful. His power shows through the way he lives his life and how he treats others. He’s a strong and kind man. His family sees him as powerful and that’s all the power that he needs.
Are you a nice guy who’s tired of finishing last?
You may be too nice too soon. What does that mean? It means you may be letting women walk all over you. Listen carefully. Please do not begin to be a jerk. Please continue to treat women with respect, kindness and chivalry. Please don’t stop! Women are desperate for it. Here’s the thing. Just be sure that the woman that you choose to demonstrate this for actually appreciates it. It’s okay for her to expect it because she values herself, but she better damn sure better appreciate it!
Make sure that she too has earned it. This works both ways and you must BOTH demonstrate to each other that you deserver each other’s time and attention. Just because you’re supposed to make her feel cared for, does NOT mean you’re supposed to do whatever she wants. A good woman will appreciate you. I tell women to expect a man to treat her well, but I also say that women are jerks too!
Being a jerk is not dependent upon your sex. You know this. Don’t let people walk all over you. Know that you have more than most men to provide to a very lucky lady. Make sure that the lady you give your time and devotion to deserves it. Make sure she shows you with her actions that she appreciates you. Make sure that she also shows you the same kindness and attention back. Don’t jump into a relationship too soon, and take the time to get to really know who this woman is. Make sure she too is worthy of YOUR love.
Ladies, stop dating the baboons! Learn what a good man looks like. Make sure he is an evolved alpha male. Don’t date the guys who put on a good show.
Thanks for listening to my rant today. Remember at the end of the day, if someone can’t show you the slightest bit of courtesy and it’s always about them, you need to move on and find someone who is more evolved. Find someone who knows who they are and what they need to work on. Find someone real.
Love people for who they are on the inside. The jerks won’t last or keep you around! Remember, relationships with the nice guys are the ones that last.
You’ll be happy that it does. 🙂
Why is chivalry hanging on by a thread? Read here.
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