Are you chasing men and can’t catch one? Please, never chase a man. It simply doesn’t work that way. If you disagree with me, I’m sorry but you’re wrong.
Below are ten rules that all single women should follow. Women who do NOT follow these rules often find themselves pursuing men. Are they desperate? God no, they simply don’t know any better! (or they’re trying to be the cool chick or their friend is giving them the worst dating advice ever). Please do not chase men. They need to chase you.
Read the below rules and apply them to your dating life. I promise you the right guy will show up. I know it’s easier said than done, but I promise if you follow these rules, good men will start to show up. You will have your pick whilst weeding out the ones that will only waste your time and break your heart.
Before you jump right in, please note. None if this works if you aren’t authentic. Please be original. You have to be self-aware, know what you represent, and carry that with confidence. I don’t care if you are the best baker in your group, the best dancer, the best at telling jokes, or you find the best cat videos. Find something that you’re proud of and be authentic.
You have to live your truth. Otherwise the below dating tips will work and you will have men vying for your attention, but you won’t find the one who is best for you. The “real” one that you are meant to be with. After all, if you don’t really know yourself, how can you truly relate to another person and form a deep connection? News flash, you can’t! You know this…
You deserve to be happy and have men vying for your attention. Oh, and let me fill you in on a little secret real quick….You do NOT have to be the prettiest one in the room. Please take pride in yourself and your appearance of course, but looking “perfect” or whatever society tells us is perfect is stupid. So as of right now, STOP putting all of your effort into how you look. It’s simply just not that important.
Okay here goes…
#1 – Don’t wait around for him to call
Make your plans and stick to them. If he doesn’t call, it doesn’t matter because you’re busy living your life. There’s nothing more unattractive than a woman (or man) with no life, who sits around waiting for something to happen. Make stuff happen. If you must, leave your phone at home all day and go do something. Be unavailable. Take a walk, go for a swim, paint a picture or start a new project where your phone is not attached to your hip. If you’re bored, then get off your butt and go do something.
Make plans to start living your life and do things that you enjoy. Do things that bring you happiness. You have to get a life and live it. When you’re a happy and fulfilled person, you have so much more to offer those around you and you will literally draw men to you. They will think, wow this girl’s got “something.” She’s happy living her life and I just hope she finds time for me somewhere in her busy schedule! They won’t even understand why, but they will have to find a way to spend time with you. Oh and smile please 🙂 Nothing shows more that you’re happy than actually smiling. The good ones won’t be fooled, however, you have to really be happy. If you aren’t yet, that’s okay, just start doing and stop waiting!
#2 – Don’t go out with him unless he asks you at least 2-3 days in advance
Two days minimum! If he hasn’t planned and asked you in advance then he hasn’t prioritized you. You must be a priority not a last-minute result or fleeting thought when he gets bored. Don’t be a booty call, and know if he asks you out last minute, you weren’t on his mind, and most likely the woman he really wanted to go out with wasn’t available. You know that last minute often means he’s just horny. Oh, and do not ask him out! If a man wants to go out with you, he will make it happen. If it doesn’t happen, he doesn’t want to go out with you. Do not sit around and wait for him to invite you to hang at the last minute and refer to #1.
#3 – Don’t reach out if he disappears, or asks for space
Wait for him to come to you and refer to #2 above if he asks you out again. You may never see or hear from him again, but didn’t he just do you a favor? Don’t let him waste your time and energy. There’s a really lucky guy just around the corner waiting to cherish you. I promise. Also, keep in mind that the majority of people you date will not work out. Take each date as an opportunity to practice dating! Learn from each date, and remember that even if they’re not the one for you, there’s probably a reason you needed to meet that person.
#4 – Don’t have a physical “type” in mind.
A lot of people end up with someone they never would have gone out with. They end up with someone that didn’t have the physical attributes on their check list. Having a physical type is the quickest way to prevent yourself from meeting a man who will adore and cherish you. If you’re looking for a deep and loving relationship, you cannot begin by focusing on physical or materialistic attributes. The best love is the kind where there is an unequivocal connection that cannot be explained. It doesn’t necessarily start with looks. Quite often, the best relationships can begin as a friendship or work relationship. You will find that when you realize a person is amazing based on who they are on the inside, it’s one of the best aphrodisiacs there is. (For real) Be patient, weed out the bad guys, and wait for someone genuine. Once you find that connection, you will literally crave that person and find them irresistible. It’s pretty hot actually. By focusing on a person’s outside appearance, (you obviously can’t find them revolting) you are potentially missing out on what could be the greatest love of your life.
#5 – Don’t make excuses for why he hasn’t called
He needs to show up, call when he says he’s going to, and show you by his actions that you’re a priority. Oh, and you don’t have to be bitchy about it by the way. Simply stating that something doesn’t work for you, but you wish them the best of luck in their dating and love life… gets the point across. It also shows them that you’re not going to force a relationship simply for the sake of being in one. You’re looking for the real deal, and nothing less. It’s surprising how many change their tune and show up right away! The ones that don’t? They did you a favor, and didn’t waste your time.
Oh, and please don’t bad mouth someone because it didn’t work out between you, or worse become a man hater. Please grow up. There are so many different types of people in the world, and we are attracted to people sometimes for reasons we can’t even explain. It’s the mystery of love people! If he’s not into you, he won’t call. He’s not a total asshole. He just isn’t feeling it for you. You can’t force someone to have feelings for you and why the hell would you want to? Hold out for something real and smile because you know your guy is out there somewhere . You just haven’t met him yet! Hating on men right now? (Learn How to Love Men Again)
#6 – Don’t be exclusive unless there’s plans for marriage
You’re looking for a life partner, not a boyfriend. That works both ways…which you may not like, but I guarantee you he’s not closing himself off to other women unless he sees you as a potential wife. Why in the world would you close yourself off to meeting the one who will adore you, when you don’t have a lifelong commitment? The ring doesn’t have to be on your finger, but there should be plans in place. You will know in your gut if he means it or not. Listen to your gut. Don’t know for sure? I can help you. If you’re ready to find love that’s forever, read Old School Dating. There are three rules to Old School Dating. This is just one of them. Tired of relationships that never go anywhere? You will be amazed at how your dating life will shift, once you apply the rules of Old School Dating.
#7 – Don’t make yourself too available. Don’t take crumbs.
Get a life and get out there and live it. If you have something you do weekly with the girls, your book club, wine night, yoga, whatever it is, keep doing it. You should always continue to do the things you love. Don’t know what you love? Try new things! Maybe your thing is you love to try new things. Bottom line, don’t wait around for a man to provide you with a social life and make you happy. You have to be self-fulfilled and make yourself happy before you will have anything to give to a partner. Make your own life and get out and live it. There’s nothing sexier to a man than a woman who has a life and can make herself happy doing things she loves. If there is a true connection, he will be eager to see what your exciting life has to offer him!
#8 – Don’t feel bad about giving him a little bit of a challenge.
Don’t play games, but men like to chase, and they like to feel that they’ve worked for and earned what they have. Hence, the title of my blog “Never Chase a Man Again.” It’s just in their DNA so let that work for you. If you play games however, and it’s not authentic, he will be gone in a flash. As he should! Let him do the work. Let him schedule the date, the dinner, etc. Even if it’s not exactly how you would have planned it, isn’t it nice to have someone care enough to plan something fun to do together? Show your appreciation but never feel bad about letting a man pursue you. He should! Men love the thrill of the chase, so give him the thrill of his life, LOL. In all seriousness, you deserve it. Show him that’s what you deserve because you value yourself. He will think you’re a woman that other men do that for. So, he better show up or someone else will steal you away.
#9 – Don’t turn down new dates because you met someone new and like him. KEEP DATING!
So many women “f” this up. Seriously, you should be dating at least three men at a time. This will do a couple of things. Make you more desirable to men, because they see you as a woman with options. If he really is the one, it will only validate it more. He will realize if he wants you all to himself, he better show up and show you why you should pick him. Remember, men like to work for what they get. They have to feel they have earned it by hard work. When men have to put in work through effort and planning, they see you as more high value. Also it seems silly I have to say this, but always be appreciative. It’s okay to expect it because you value yourself, but you should also be damn sure to say thank you. Give a hug or kiss on the cheek or something that shows him he did good and that he’s making you happy. Men really just want to make women happy. When they make you happy, it makes them feel good too.
#10 – Don’t be unrealistic.
If you want to be with someone who has their shit together, then you better have yours together too. If you only want to go out with guys who are “hot,” but you aren’t a hottie yourself then get real. Ouch! Oh and by the way, hot guys are a bore, and I would rather have some extra weight around my belly if it means being happy. Basically looks and money are not the way to go, but you do need to be realistic. Meet people who share your interests and who are authentic and know who they are. Take a really good look at yourself and make sure that what you’re expecting from others, is also something that you’re able to provide. (Read more about that in my blog post Be Who You Want to Date)
Are you guilty of not following the above rules? That’s okay. I did all of them at one point and learned the hard way! Even if you’re unsure of what you just read, just try it. Please just give it a go, and you will be surprised how your dating life will change for the best.
Be a woman with options. Be a woman in demand. You deserve to be adored. May the best man win!
Are you following the above rules and still no luck? Okay, then we may need to dig into a deeper problem. No worries, we all have issues we need to resolve or we would be a very boring species. These rules will help you find the man you deserve, but if you aren’t living your authentic self, and valuing yourself as a woman who is worth pursuing, then we’ve got a little more work do to. I can help you and it’s what I love to do.
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