“Find Your Soul. Find Your Soulmate.”
Episode #1: Who Should Pay for Dinner?
Should the man or woman pay for dinner? Learn how our biology and evolutionary psychology answers this for us! Listen and find out who should pay for dinner.
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(transcript from the episode below)
Hi, I’m Niki Booker and welcome to my podcast, “Find Your Soul. Find Your Soulmate”. This is a podcast about love, about finding yourself, and some fun tips and reminders about dating. It’s about surrendering yourself to the unnecessary demands we put on ourselves as humans. Every Sunday I released a new episode, so keep an eye out or an ear or both ears, preferably. Also if you like what you hear, please be sure to leave a review and subscribe and also share with anyone you feel you know would benefit from listening. I also have a blog at www.nikibooker.com. So this week’s podcast episode, is called “Who should pay for dinner?” You know the age old question is who should buy dinner?
A lot of people are splitting the check now, and so I get asked this a lot from the subscribers to my blog. So who should pay for dinner? Here’s my answer… The man, evolutionarily and biologically speaking. Wait, what? Listen. If you study evolutionary psychology, you will learn that our brains and habits are defined by what our ancestors needed, not really what we need now. It’s pretty crazy, right? Our brains are only evolved enough to face the problems that our ancestors faced. Our brains simply don’t evolve as fast as this quickly changing world. Biology dictates that when a woman is pregnant, at some point, no matter what, she will be unable to solely provide for her child. Whether it’s for weeks to months is the question of course, because women are now financially self sufficient, and more independent. We have more resources. Here’s why the man should pay at minimum for the first dinner and I really believe he should pay for pretty much all of them at first.
When you’re dating (and it doesn’t have to be fancy y’all), the man should pay because he’s showing you that he is able to provide for you as a mate and for any potential and nonexistent future children. Bear with me….. In the event you become pregnant. More importantly, he is showing that he is willing to provide. If you’re a woman carrying a child, you have to realize that you won’t be able to provide for some period of time. It may be a very short, insignificant period of time, but the fact still remains. I mean, just think about women who have to go on bed rest or heaven forbid the baby stays in the hospital or is sick and needs round the clock care. Yes, I realize women are more resourceful now, but there is the chance that a pregnant woman will be physically unable to leave the home to go out and acquire the resources required for her to care for her child.
I realize that this is a little extreme, but our minds are preparing for reproduction and survival and our dating responses are based on those needs. So, the man has demonstrated that if needed, he is able and also willing to take care of you if and when you need it most and for your children. It’s merely a demonstration. It’s so important to understand that it’s not solely about being able to provide, but also about being willing to provide. If he has the means but he isn’t willing, then he may as well not have the means. Ladies, if he has the means and isn’t willing then he isn’t feeling it for you. If he doesn’t pay for dinner, he may not really be feeling it for you. Sorry. If he doesn’t pay for dinner at least on the first date, then I would think twice about going out with him again or just don’t really think about him that much. By the way, I have met many men who told me that a man should pay for dinner.
They think it’s ridiculous that people are splitting the check now. These are good men and I’m not saying the other guys are bad. I’m really not. I’m saying that if he really likes you and wants to make sure that he goes out with you again, he will pay. It’s not about the money. Ladies, if a guy really likes you and wants to be certain that you go out with him again, trust me, he will jump across the table to pick up the tab. If he doesn’t, then I wouldn’t spend a lot of time thinking about him or analyzing the date because he probably isn’t. I know it’s confusing these days because sometimes the woman is the one who makes the better living…you know, women are often the high income earners. That’s why I say at minimum the first date at least. Don’t let chivalry die. Please ladies, and let him demonstrate to you that you’re a woman worth picking up the tab for. It’s literally the least he can do. You’re worth it. This is Niki’s Bookers podcast “Find Your Soul. Find Your Soulmate.” You can find me at www.nikibooker.com. I have a newsletter you can subscribe to for additional updates from me other than my podcast and I also offer private coaching if that’s something you’re interested in. Thanks so much for listening and have the best day ever.
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