There are four types of people who are dating and looking for love. Most often you will fit into one the dating styles that I describe below.
While it may not be a perfect fit, you will find you can relate to one of the dating styles based on the behaviors you take while dating. Read below to find out which style you fit into and why.
Which one do you think you fit into?
Type #1 – The Serial Monogamist
This person goes from relationship to relationship. You can’t remember the last time this person wasn’t in a relationship. This person can’t seem to handle being alone. This person isn’t sure if there’s someone else out there for him or her so they cling to whomever they have right now. This person stays in a bad relationship for fear that someone better may not come along. This person also stays in a passionless relationship just because it’s not so bad. This is what I call a “Meh” relationship. It’s just okay. It’s not great, but it’s not so bad. This person hasn’t taken the time to know who they are and what they need in a partner. They just hope one will stick. This is most likely due to low self-esteem and lack of confidence.
Type #2 – The Grumpy Loner
This person has never really been in a relationship at all and has never truly been close to anyone. He or she spends most of their time alone. The grumpy loner finds fault very quickly in others. This is a defense mechanism because this person is extremely afraid of rejection. This person generally dumps people or dismisses them first so as not to be the one dumped! This person most likely has a low self-esteem and needs to also work on building his or her confidence. This person also may need to work on finding more positive ways to relate to others, rather than focusing on another’s faults. This person needs to take a good look at him or herself and may be unaware or unwilling to deal with their own baggage. It’s easier to reject someone else rather than be rejected. It’s easier to find fault in another rather than focus on our own inefficiencies. This person can be very grumpy and isn’t generally very enjoyable to be around. This person may have feelings of entitlement so feels slighted when something doesn’t turn out as expected. This person could even potentially be a narcissist, but that’s not a given.
Type #3 – The Hopeful Loner
This person may have never been in a relationship but it’s not due to entitlement. It’s due to lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence and most likely lack of self-awareness. This person may not have very many friends and is shy. It’s so important for this person to push him or herself out of their comfort zone. Once able to do this, his or her self-esteem will improve along with their confidence level. This person is generally kind and likeable. This person may even be a pushover and may be afraid to ask for what he or she wants. He or she often takes crumbs. This person is kind and hopeful but not very aggressive in their approach to finding friends and finding love. This is my favorite kind of dater because this person is so close to becoming the successful dater that I describe below. Once the hopeful loner pushes him or herself out of their comfort zone, very good things begin to happen!
Type #4 – The Successful Dater
This person has a good self-esteem, knows who they are, and is confident. This person dates people off and on, and isn’t generally in a committed relationship. He or she has been in one or two committed relationships at most. The majority of the time this person is single and okay with that. This person takes the time to evaluate who they are dating and if the other person is a good fit. This person doesn’t force a relationship and has the confidence to end a bad or passionless one when it’s not working out. He or she knows that someone else is around the corner that may be a better fit and it’s best to move on now, rather than waste time.
Do you find you fit into one of these categories? Maybe not the last one? That’s okay. I was in one or two of these categories at different points in my life. The goal of course is to get to #4.
If I can do it then you can too! I promise.
If you find you fit into one of the first three, that’s okay. You won’t be stuck there forever unless you allow yourself to be.
My blog addresses not only how to attract and keep someone special in your life, but also how to find happiness within. You can’t find happiness with another human until you find happiness within yourself. That’s just the way it works. There’s no short cuts. Period.
Here are some suggested readings dependent upon which category you find yourself in…
First of all, I suggest that everyone who is struggling to find love read the below list first. I don’t care which category you fit into. You read these first because the first step to finding love is knowing who you are. You must also be emotionally mature. If you don’t know who you are deep down and you aren’t emotionally mature, you will struggle to find love that lasts.
- Is Your Mind in Constant Chaos?
- Nobody Cares How Smart You Are
- Feeling a Little Moody Lately?
- Who Determines Your Value?
- Don’t Be Such a Jerk
Serial Monogamist: Are You Afraid to be Alone? Do You Have Relationship Blinders? The Best Advice From My Father. Are You Dating Jerks? Are You Trying to Force a Relationship? The Most Common Dating Mistake.
The Grumpy Loner: Why Fear Based Decision Don’t Work. The Power of Forgiveness. Do You Fight Dirty? Are You a Lazy Partner? It’s Never Too Late. Feeling Like a Mental Case? Heal Yourself Through Journaling.
Okay are you self-aware, confident, and emotionally mature? Great! Now it’s time to get to the fun stuff!
This is the dating strategy that you need to implement into your life. Once you do, your self-esteem will sky rocket and you will be a woman in demand. Just try it. I did and WOW. (You can read my story here if you’re unsure of any of this!)
Remember, finding love is process just like anything else that you do. You only get out of it what you put in. Put an effort into finding love. Put an effort into finding yourself.
BE YOU. Love YOU. Embrace YOU and someone special will come along. You just have to be PATIENT and remember that you can’t force a relationship. Not the kind you long for anyhow.
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